Your student has been away and successfully completed their first semester …and now they are coming home! For most of our kids, college was the first experience they have had living on their own. It is important that we keep a few things in mind to allow for a smooth transition back home.
- Remember they have been making their own decisions about when they eat, when they sleep, when they come in each night and how they schedule their time. They have begun to make a transition to adulthood and it is important to respect and support those changes (as long as they are making progress).
- It is equally important to communicate your expectations during their time at home; pitching in with chores, curfew, and time with family, etc. But remember to compromise when you can.
- Be sure to communicate any major changes back home, to help them prepare for re-entry. Let them know if you have painted their room or moved the key that was always hidden in the shed out back. And be certain that you ask they let you know about any changes they might have made …body art comes to mind.
- You’ll eventually learn all there is to know about their semester. Let that information comfortably roll out and don’t try to force it. Make yourself available, even if you might be ready for bed, to listen when they are in the mood to talk.
- It may also be a time to discuss, disappointments and failures. It is certainly appropriate to ask about academic progress, and at appropriate times and in appropriate ways, discuss how those issues are to be handled. There may be other issues they want to explore with you. Those probings are most likely to fully surface when you are in a supportive, listening mode.
- Although it is important to spend time with family it is also important to recognize they will be anxious to reconnect with friends. Allow them to do this, in appropriate measure, without guilt.
Your children are emerging as adults capable of negotiating a tricky and fast-paced world. Support their success and celebrate with them. Your ultimate goal is to help them grow toward full independence …in a way that is healthy and contributes to the world in which we live.
